An overview of my 2014

I must say I started 2014 with a really good start that I literally reeled in joy at a mall. LOL. I sent in a CV to my professor in UK late December 2013 and was anticipating for his reply daily. Of all the CVs I have sent, this is the one I was really dying to get. On 1st January, at Citta Mall, he sent me an email calling for an interview, I screamed at the cinema. Hahahahaha. Embarrassing I know. As it is not already embarrassing enough, my sisters always relive that scene, made me want to hide like an ostrich. Hahahahaha.

January was tough, I was going through hell, with the rats. I had to pop into my uni every day, twice a day to feed them with medication and I had to do a hebdomadal check on their blood sugar level. It was one hell of a month, and I finally finished them.

CNY also fell on last day of January, so I actually had a good end to January.

I remember when I joined my uni, I heard that only the best researches get to enter symposium and those that enter symposium would definitely get A for that subject, and since then I told myself that is what I would be aiming for. But as soon as I started my research project, I sank to the lowest low, and I thought I would never get to join symposium anymore. But to my complete surprise, I received an invitation to present my research to everyone. I was of course overjoyed, but I was also mixed with a bit of dejection, because I did not give my 100% into my research. But I went for it anyway, while I thought I did it quite ok, I received harsh criticism from one of the judges, behind of me. I felt severely insulted and couldn't quite get over it for some time.

In March, I joined UM. Every now and then, I still marvelled at this beautiful campus thinking about how lucky I am to have been able to join here, which was once my dream.

I joined research week and I got to know sooooo many people. I got to know Siew Yan, who had actually became a pretty close friend of mine. And also I met so many researchers all around the world and country and there was I thinking to myself, this is what I love!

I have also started working on various staining, which have failed me miserably many times. I always thought things were easy, but I realized, research really need a lot of hardwork and perseverance. I am glad my prof did not give up on me too.

In May my prof left for UK and left Zahidah and I. I must say I was quite competitive.

In June I had very bad eye inflammation, I put the blame on my contact lenses. I didn't think it was a big deal until the symptoms persisted for a month or so and I had no choice but to consult a specialist.

In July dad was generous enough to bring us to dine at Majestic Hotel, which was also a dream came true. I marvelled at every single corner of the hotel, every little corner is so well made and maintained and it was one great experience that I will never forget for life.

In August I had my very first project presentation. I was nervous to death. But thank god I managed to tackle all the questions, though most of them I just simply answered. What I should really feel thankful about is that Prof. Hany and other professors were coincidentally busy during my session and no one was there to watch me except for students.

September, Zahidah left and I was all alone. I also got pretty close with Tomica, Joo San, Shu Pin and Paul.

Prof came back in October and we were both ready to join a conference in Singapore. This is my very first time joining an international conference overseas. I was in utter excitement and anticipated every single day for it to come. When it finally did, I had the worst skin of my entire life and it made me feel so dejected and low self esteem to talk to anyone. However, I managed to keep a good relationship going on with Prof. Claire and Dr. Zheng Li. Overall it was fun and I always remember the four days I spent overseas all alone. These were definitely the highlights of the year!

I think I have also lost a friend in October, couldn't really recall but that's about the time where I noticed that S.P started staying away from me. She is really a pain in the arse. I have opened up to her a lot of the times when we were close and her sudden withdrawal left me feeling all foolish and dumbfounded. I however acted like nothing happened and just went on with life.

My prof also broke my heart miserably when we had some miscommunication and he shattered my dreams to pursue my career in the UK. It left us in an awkward position for quite long..

I have tried loads of money on various product to save my skin, but to no avail. I then made the decision to visit my dermatologist once again. And he really is my life saviour! I have finally gained my confidence again!

In November I celebrated Birthday! I have mended the relationship between my prof. and I. Though not very much, but it is definitely not so awkward anymore. He was kind enough to allow me a day off for my birthday celebration. Hahahhahha. I also had an awesome celebration at KL tower, which was also another dream came true.

A surgeon approached me, but he is well known for his pervert attitude. So I just simply replied him and let him be. But guess what, he is also the crush of the pain in the arse, which made her hate me more when she overheard the conversation between T and I. That was also when I noticed S.P was really really a pain in the arse. I have tried to be nice to her and all but she acted like bull crap. I never really get this exasperated at anyone unless triggered to my boiling point. And congratulation she did it.

One day in Decemeber I confronted her in her face, trying to solve things up. But she reluctantly said everything was fine and nothing was going on. BULL CRAP! She did not even look me in the eye. Since then I knew there will be no turning back and she and I would be in an awkward position for the rest of my PhD life. That's it. F**K it!

My horoscope says love lurks around in the month of Decemeber but it left me crestfallen because no one came after me still and I am seriously slowly lowering all the expectations I wanted on guys and just let things happen by itself. If I don't ever get a bf by the end of the day, I would just marry myself to my career.

I took one week off from study and completely recharged myself. And here I am all ready to take on the challenges 2015 has prepared for me. Bring it on!!!

So my note to self for the year of 2014 is, friends come and go. Don't put all your heart in friendship. Those sincere friends would stay if my effort is enough, those that don't give a shit about all your efforts made, you should just save the effort for yourself. I have also learned to love myself a lot a lot a lot. I always do things I like and make myself happy by spending time with people that makes me happy. I learnt how to deal with hatred and problems better. And one last thing is to never stop pursuing your dream. Dream always come true if you want it enough!

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